You've heard the story, you've heard the tale,
But now I say, we take off our hats,
Liebowitz, Liebowitz,
The doctor was smart, it's how he got paid,
If that weren't enough, the rats all got out,
Liebowitz, Liebowitz,
He met with some fellows, who came for a fight,
The monsters came swarming, rats came through vents,
Liebowitz, Liebowitz,
The doctor drove the truck, with the fellows in the back,
The doctor didn't know this, and he slammed down on the brakes,
Liebowitz, Liebowitz,
The rats all got fried, but so did the rest,
Bless the poor guy, he didn't survive,
Liebowitz, Liebowitz,
An Ode to Dr. Liebowitz
Of Red Mesa's fabulous heroes,
They got the glory, and it's just as well,
Or else they'd be nameless zeroes.
For one of the heroes we'll miss,
I sing you today, of the killer of rats,
Poor ol' Doctor Liebowitz...
We didn't know it'd come to this,
It was bad, and then it got worse,
So we'll remember you in badly rhyming verse!
To be a Red Mesa researcher.
But times got hard, we all were afraid,
Of being eaten by alien lurkers.
Then grew to incredible size,
Their hides were all tough, with fang-laden snouts,
And hideous glowing red eyes!
We didn't know it'd come to this,
It was bad, and then it got worse,
The biggest meanest rats in the whole universe!
To put an end to the monsters within,
With a whoop and a bellow, and a case of dynamite,
Some moon pies and a whole lot of gin.
The heroes had little time to duck,
They came without warning, so all that made sense,
Was to make a break in a rusty old truck!
We didn't know it'd come to this,
It was bad, and then it got worse,
This rusty old truck's going to be your hearse!
As they lit sticks of TNT,
They wished for some luck, threw the sticks as their attack,
Into the midst of the enemy.
For there were even more monsters ahead!
So he didn't notice, and to add to his mistake,
He shifted gears and went backwards instead!
We didn't know it'd come to this,
It was bad, and then it got worse,
With dynamite behind you, don't shift to reverse!
As the dynamite sticks detonated,
The rats, they all died, as the fire burned their nests,
And their crispy corpses demonstrated.
He was dying from the mess that he'd made,
We're not sure just why, but the others were alive,
As his last act, he gave them first aid.
We didn't know it'd come to this,
It was bad, and then it got worse,
You really should have healed yourself first!
By T. Jordan "Greywolf" Peacock
Dead Lands, Dead Lands: Hell on Earth and Dead Lands: The Weird West and characters and features thereof are trademarks of Pinnacle Games, and their use here does not constitute a challenge of trademark status. This site is by no means official, and should not be considered representative of the quality of the products of Pinnacle Games. With the exception of the "Dead Lands" logo, and except where otherwise noted, all artwork and all articles on this page are (c) by T. Jordan "Greywolf" Peacock, and may not be reproduced without permission.