Back on the Hazard Shuttle, the confines are a bit cramped, but not nearly as much as they were when the entire team was crowded into the passenger compartment - with spillover into the airlock/ramp chamber in the back. Right now, the "Turtle Squad" is impossibly crammed up into the forward cockpit module, along with Voltage, as they all want to keep up on the latest developments, and to shout frequently-ignored advice over the com system.

The central passenger module is therefore a bit more quiet, though the com still crackles now and then with reports from Casey and the others - as April gives pointers to Casey on where to use his plasma cutter, and then a few shouts of surprise as the cutter finishes its way through the outer hull of the base - and the irregularly-cut "lid" is blown off.

So far, it sounds like they have it pretty much under control down there, and there's not much for anyone on the shuttle to do.

A gold-furred vixen steps through the doorway, peering about the compartment. Ill-fitted armor covers the tattered remains of a once-elegant kimono. The assault rifle slung over her back and the two single-grip shotguns jammed into the sash look equally improbable, and at odds with her currently hesitant demeanor. "Kathmandu?"

Kathmandu is sitting in his cat carrier, which is jammed in a corner and secured by a strap. Despite the mechanism which allows him to open it from inside, he's doing a fine impression of a lab animal unhappy with his confines. He's crouched in the middle, his tail tucked close; he stares at the wall in an attempt to control his thoughts. A psionic amplifier causes this to be quite the challenge. He lifts his head with a "Mew?" - at the same time broadcasting, Vixa? - Jing Li! I meant, 'Jing Li'.

Jing Li's lips pull back along one side of her face, in a flicker of a snarl that she quickly suppresses. She walks over to Kathmandu's cage, and sits before it, her legs folded beneath her. "Are you all right?" she asks.

From the cockpit, there are excited cries of, "Whoa, she's going to do WHAT to the power whazzit?" "Big bada BOOM!" "Woot!" "Hey, is that SAFE?"

The little cat sees the flash of snarl and shrinks, pulling in on himself. He watches the vixen kneel before him, focusing on the tattered decorations of her clothes, the battle damage of her armor, her weapons. He exercises techniques to keep his mind from wandering. He looks scared and unhappy, the odd helmet strapped to his head furthering the experimental test subject image. His thoughts are very neutral, carefully kept that way. I'm okay. I don't think this is a good idea. We shouldn't split up and there aren't any suits for you if there is an accident."

The vixen's ears start to flatten back at the sounds over the intercom, and flatten further at the cat's rebuke. "I -- I'm sorry. It's just, well, there's no room in the cockpit, and I can't do anything about what's going on inside the base, and I wanted ..." Her voice trails off, and she looks away, staring at the shuttle wall.

I meant them. We should all go. Kathmandu's thoughts are contrite. I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry. I feel useless.

"So do I. Right now, anyway." Jing Li curls her tail protectively around herself, the fluffy end resting in her lap. "But you're not useless. You stopped the shuttle from crashing earlier."

The passenger compartment shivers a bit, as the sound of a muffled explosion sounds over the com. "Whoa. That must have been a big explosion!" "Naw, we're moving." Sure enough, the scene outside of the portholes shifts as the shuttle hovers away from the surface of the station, and moves several meters away from the hole cut into the base's plating. The cabin is momentarily lit up with green light as another one of the mysteriously-glowing meteorites shatters in a brilliant burst against the moon-base's outer plating.

The vixen covers her head with her arms, crouching lower. "And I wish we'd all gone into the base, too," she whispers. "Everyone seemed to think it'd be easy, just run in and grab the warp crystal and go. But ... nothing's been that easy, here."

Kathmandu stares as only cats can at Jing Li, looking at her lap, her tail. His thoughts are carefully controlled. Occasionally this diligence results in a flash of his mental picture instead of words. He's meditating and using the dream he had the night before, the one Rose disliked so much: an endless expanse of golden fur. Yes, it has been, and if I could have made them listen, it's dangerous to use a shuttle this way. Maybe it will be okay, like Casey said. It's just a game, but ... it's not. I feel like a mascot. Trapped.

Thanks for protecting me earlier, he says, with genuine warmth.

The gold-furred woman ducks her muzzle to her chest. She starts to reach into Kathmandu's cage. "You're not -- " Then she stops both her speech and her hand, looking away again. Her fingers pluck at the fur of her tail nervously. "It was the least I could do. It's -- it's funny, isn't it? Me protecting you."

There's another bright green flash of light that briefly fills the passenger compartment, this time more intense, as the shuttle jerks to one side. "Whoo! Nice flying, Voltage!" Turtle cheers can be heard from the crowded space around the cockpit.

The small white cat stands and rubs his head against the opening of the door, marking it as his. He bumps against the wall, the body language of a feline interested in a petting. It's not possible to see a smile behind his mental words, but it still feels like one is there. Yes, it was. I appreciate how you must have felt earlier, Jing Li. I'm sorry, I should have handled it better. I'm supposed to be a psychologist.

Jing Li nods, her teeth tugging at her lip. Quickly, as if she's afraid she'll lose her nerve, she says, "All this time, up until we got here, I felt like the mascot." She holds her head in profile, not looking at the cat as she speaks. "The cute animal that's not really intelligent. Not really a person. Something tagging along that you needed to take care of because you were too nice to leave it behind to fend for itself. And now you...." She lifts one hand to her face, rubbing one eye. "I'm sorry, Kathmandu. I'm so sorry."

I'll be okay, Jing Li. I should have realized. He reaches out, pawing in the air towards the vixen. His body language betrays his general unhappiness, but he is still a cat wanting to be picked up. I thought.... It didn't occur to me: I could change, you couldn't. I could hide being Kathmandu and didn't notice being treated differently in animal form. It was always a tool for me, but it's not the same when I can't change back. I realize now why it must have bothered you. I'm sorry for handling it all badly.

Jing Li rubs her arm over her muzzle, wiping her eyes. "I'm so stupid. Here you are, stuck, and I've been treating you -- just like that. Like you're a pet. Sparring with Nao over who gets to carry you, like you were a pet, just like you and Rose would -- " She breaks off, shaking her head. "I -- I've got no excuse. I knew how it felt and I did it anyway." She hunches her shoulders, whispering, "I think ... I did it on purpose. To show you ... how it felt. I'm sorry. I'm ... really sorry."

"Just cut through it!" one of the turtles urges. "Man, Casey's like a Jedi, now! I want a lightsaber, too!" "It's more like a chainsaw, really, I think." "A glowing chainsaw. That cuts through steel. That's close enough to a lightsaber for me." One of the other Turtles cups his hands over his mouth. "Luuuuuuke! I ahm youah FAHTHAH! Join me, and together we shall rule Superior City!" There's some more crackling over the com system, but it's drowned out by a stream of bad reinactments by the Turtles of various sci-fi movies from the past 70 years or so. At least there aren't any more green flashes, and the shuttle is fairly steady for the time being.

Kathmandu's paw hangs in the air for a moment, then drops, followed by his head as he stares at the shuttle floor. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. At first, when I couldn't remember anything, I thought you were the only one who would understand ... being a Megamon, being Voltage's sidekick pet. It felt like we were buddies and I wanted the camaraderie, and sparring and such. Because it was the only way I could think of doing things with you. After I started remembering things, I forgot how lonely it felt, being someone's cute pet. I'm ... I'm glad you still wanted to help me. It's okay.

"It was nice to be wanted," Jing Li says, her voice soft. "That both you and Rose wanted me around. And you were both so nice to me. But sometimes I felt like you wanted -- I don't know. Vixa xa vi vi!" she yips, in staccato succession. "Like you wanted the cute pet vixen, not me. Whatever 'me' is." She turns to look at Kathmandu again, and reaches out. Her hand hovers over him, hesitant. "Is it okay if I pet you?"

The little cat stretches forward, leaning out of the carrier. It's okay. I'd like that. It makes me feel better. I wanted your friendship. I meant what I said back at the alchemist's. I liked you as Vixa, as the Gothic Vixa, as Jing Li. I'm fine with however you want to be. It came out of left field.... I wasn't thinking. I wasn't expecting to hear you were upset from Rose. I couldn't understand. I thought I was being a friend, not realizing I was wishing you to be a certain way.

The vixen strokes her hand down Kathmandu's back, then scratches behind his ears. "I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I didn't know who I was, but I didn't want to be alone, and I thought if I was what you wanted, or Rose wanted, or -- I don't know. Nothing I did felt right. It wasn't me, and I felt like even the people who cared about me didn't like the way I kept ... changing. I didn't like it." She sighs. "And everyone else was discovering who they really were, people outside of this 'it's-just-a-game', and I was still just me. Just a thing, a program in the machine, a set of instructions that anyone could change."

The com chatter becomes less pleasant. There are sounds of gunfire, and an unearthly screech - the sort of screech made by those "leapers" that were first encountered back in the express tube. "Get 'em, Casey!" one of the Turtles cheers. "Go, April!"

At the gunfire burst, Jing Li crouches lower. By instinct, she picks up Kathmandu, curling around him protectively.

Who we were, Jing Li, who we were. He bumps his head against her hand, rolling and rubbing his ears against her fingers, curling tightly against her as he is scooped up. Gunfire brings back memories of a mini-gun barrel much too close and much too big. He shudders, then continues, People who died, years ago, who can't go back, who are holding on to what we can, and as Nao found, just as easily changed as anything else in the machine. I like how you've remade yourself. It's very exotic. Very confident.

The gunfire, sporadic as it is, doesn't last for long. A few whoops go up from the cockpit. "Got 'em!" a Turtle cheers.

"Thank you. I think I kinda overdid it at first. But ... I do feel better. To know that I can control who I am." Jing Li straightens, looking sheepish. She holds Kathmandu loosely in her arms. "Silly, my taking you out of an armored vac-protected container because I'm worried something's going to hurt you. The gunfire's all down there, anyway."

Kathmandu stretches out along Jing Li's arms, lying loosely. It ... feels better to be held. The carrier reminds me that things aren't going well. I've not enjoyed being alone here. I feel very vulnerable. Everything is bigger and faster. I couldn't call for help. I was afraid to get far away from anyone because I expected never to come back. I feel really badly for getting Nao so horribly hurt, just because I was trying to be useful.

"That's not your fault. I almost dozed off on my own shift. We should've known to set two watches." Jing Li strokes the cat reassuringly, cuddling him and ducking her head to rub the side of her muzzle against his head. "I'm sorry you're stuck like this. I can't imagine what it must be like, when you're so used to being able to be huge and powerful whenever you need to."

The vixen's muzzle is huge, but it's a nice sort of huge. Kathmandu rubs back, the ridge on his skull rubbing against her jaw. It's ... not the experience I imagined here would be. Even as a person, I could fight, defend, shoot guns. Now, I'm only good at running away. That's why I wanted to go to the psionic research ... in case I come out of this, and I'm stuck ... always like this....

Jing Li shivers. "You won't be. It's just the way this server is, I'm sure. When we get back to Superior City, you'll be yourself again. Well, all of yourselves again. I'm sure." She holds him a little closer anyway. "When you jumped into that medical unit a couple of days ago, and Voltage turned it on ... I was afraid you hated being stuck as a cat so much that you'd risk anything to try to turn yourself human again. I was afraid that machine was going to kill you."

I hope so, I hope so. The Mirror of Souls shows us all as code, and a server could change us just as much as a strong-willed person might. I'm fairly sure I'll be okay, but I don't know absolutely. He shivers, tensing up. I hated being a thing, being useless, I... I thought it might do something to fix that psyche stat the mirror showed. I couldn't talk, couldn't contribute, I didn't think of the risks at all and the machine.... He shudders again, remembering the blades and needles and being trapped in an enclosed space.

"Shhh." Jing Li rubs her muzzle against his head again. "It'll -- well, I guess I don't know if it'll be all right or not. But I think it will be." She chuckles. "And if willpower can change things around here, maybe that counts for something. We've still got Morpheus on our side, too. I do wish I knew more about where we were going, in the end. If this -- all of these servers, Deimos and Night City and Dungeonworld and Superior City and the rest -- are threatening the world you all were born in, and we stop that ... then what happens to us?"

It can. I made that photo album by concentrating on it. And, I don't know what happens.... His mental voice trails off, and Kathmandu starts instinctively kneading, a nervous habit of deep concentration. We're already dead. I don't think they'd keep a server just for us, and an empty world. Even what Rose was saying, and Nao, how Hell, Aphrodite, is built by strong minds controlling and using weaker ones to power themselves. I worry we're all some sort of vampire, psychically draining and living off some unconscious people we're barely aware of. The others that were sucked into the system, the first time, and since.

The vixen shudders again. "I hope that's not what Delilah meant, when she said I was some kind of vampire. I'd rather be really dead, than be some spirit possessing someone else's body."

Kathmandu muses, Simon made a rose in the real world. Maybe if we're really lucky, we can get out somehow.

"It'd be nice, wouldn't it? If we could be made in the real world. But I'm afraid it's that effect which is going to ruin the world. Destroy it and remake it into what Universe Corporation wants it to be. How would we be any better, if we did it only to save ourselves, and no one else?" Jing Li asks.

Meanwhile, the relative lull in the intercom chatter has given way to some increased intensity. There is some crackling noise, and Fireman's voice - heavily filtered - can be heard reporting that it's his geiger counter. "Aw man," one of the Turtles says, "Hey, if you get exposed to that much radiation, like, maybe you'll get some secret mutant powers!" There's the sound of a loud slap as one of the other Turtles disapproves of his advice.

We wouldn't, and we won't, and if we find out we're what Delilah said, I'm sure we'll do the right thing. I will do the right thing. I've got to hope that there's a solution, with the robots, with Morpheus, something that doesn't have us fighting towards our own suicide. The system helped people. I'm sure it did. I wouldn't have been a part of it originally if it didn't. Some are trying to wrest it for their own control, and I think Damien, possibly others, are working against them and we haven't discovered all the details yet. We have to stop the bad guys, and hopefully that won't mean stopping everything. Kathmandu continues his nervous kneading, claws stretching out and sliding along the vixen's armor.

Jing Li nods, one ear swiveling to listen to the radio chatter. "We'll find a way. We've gotten this far, and I don't think anyone at Universe Corporation expected that." She pets the cat, at least as much for her own comfort as hers. "I hope they're all right, Fireman and all the rest. We never should've let them go in alone."

"Looks like the shielding on our suits is holding!" comes a muffled report over the intercom. Voltage, in the cockpit, is busy giving them directions - to take this turn, avoid that door, try to be careful going around that way, and so forth. So far, so good - no more sounds of gunfire or alien screeches.

At the last report from Fireman, the fox-woman relaxes a little. She giggles. "You're a smart psychologist, using a little cat form to soothe people. It even works on me, and I should know better."

Kathmandu starts to purr as he is petted, a quiet rumbling that she can feel duplicated in the background of his projected thoughts. It's like being surrounded by a giant cat, even though it's all in the head. Thanks. Professional habit. Splitting up was a bad idea in Night City, and is here too. We should have tried something else. What if they need help? How will we get to them? We have no way to deal with vacuum.

"It feels like we ought to be able to do something with the sealant gun. Or could've, if Ferrari hadn't taken it with her. Like cut a hole in the base, and then back the shuttle doors to it, and open the shuttle doors. Then seal the hole between the two with the gun, and cut a new hole through the sealant." Jing Li rolls her eyes. "Except that Casey has the laser cutter, too. If anything happens to them...."

As if to emphasize Kathmandu's concern, there are shouts and sounds of gunfire. "Close the blast door! Close the blast door!" And then, "Open the blast door! Open the blast door!" There are zombie moans, and chants of "Join the hiiiive!" and "Uuuunity!" mixed in with the sounds of gunfire and a fire hose.

"I just wish I could do something!" Jing Li says, frustrated. She stands and paces back and forth in the narrow corridor, swishing her tail out of habit.

I know! They didn't want to wait! Wouldn't listen to ... the pets. There is the impression of a sigh behind his thoughts, along with the unshielded feeling of how much Kathmandu is enjoying being held, being able to talk with Jing Li. He quickly re-establishes his mental discipline. I had a thought.

The brief wash of unshielded enjoyment makes the vixen pause and smile. She hold Kathmandu with both arms, pulling him near her neck where there's no hard armor between them. When he blocks it out again, her smile turns wistful as she listens.

Kathmandu ponders, The Hive had all these fantasies to try and make people join them. I thought if there was some way to open a portal to Aphrodite, that ... I don't know, their fantasies seem the same, from what I've heard. Would it mess up the servers somehow? The code here might attack the people there like a virus ... or ... something.

"I think the Hive and those people on Aphrodite deserve each other. But I don't want to go there. I'm not sure if we could do that, make them overlap that way. I don't know enough about all this programming stuff."

Kathmandu's purring grows louder, and he relaxes his control a little. He can share his contentment, the feelings of security, the safety of being held. I might be able to make it work. Voltage might. We'd need to punch out like we did to contact Morpheus, get into Aphrodite somehow and set up a conduit between there and here. It would take a mind to link the two, accept the hive's invitation and link with Aphrodite ... but it would burn out whoever tried, I'm sure. We'd have to trick one to make the connection somehow. I don't know ... I don't know what good it would do. Mess things up, cause problems for Universe and maybe take some attention off us. Maybe simply break the Hive here.

"I don't know if we should be doing something that'll draw Universe Corporation's attention to us, breaking something in a way it shouldn't be able to be broken. Remember what the Guardians in Superior City could do?" She nuzzles between Kathmandu's ears. "Maybe it'd be better if we wait to strike when we had a way to stop the launch entirely. Not just delay it." In a quieter voice, she adds, "And ... I really don't want to go to Aphrodite." Her fur shivers in the still air of the shuttle.

Over the intercom, there are sounds of rapid machine-gun fire. Voltage can be heard from the cockpit, making unintelligible but curse-like noises as she struggles with something, as the Turtles compete with each other, the loudest among them shouting probably-useless advice that seems to hinge on video games and "cyberpunk" movies they saw in the past. "April!" The sounds of bulkheads and blast doors slamming and opening in rapid succession - sometimes accompanied by juicy, crunching noises that suggest that the doors weren't always clear at the time.

At one of the wet, crunching sounds, Jing Li leans against the shuttle wall and closes her eyes. "I wish I knew how to pray. But I think whatever gods this place has ... they're on the other side."

That's true, it was just something. The rest of his thoughts are lost in pure bliss as he is nuzzled between the ears. I don't have any better ideas right now ... and it doesn't sound good.

More shouts and mayhem come over the static. Helpful warnings from Fireman to keep clear of the doors. Calls from April that she's trying to work on the security, but not getting anywhere. Someone shouts something about Ferrari going down. And then, it quiets down. "Delilah's helping Ferrari!" Fireman reports. "She's all right. All clear down here!"

At the "all clear", Jing Li relaxes again. "Sounds like they made it." She strokes her fingers over Kathmandu's side. "At least through that fight."

The Turtles all cheer raucously.

The little cat relaxes again, purring even louder. Yes. I was wrong, again. I don't think I mind being wrong if I'm thinking of doom and gloom. Maybe it'll be okay. He curls closer.

Jing Li nods, her whiskers tickling at one of the cat's ears. "Yeah. Maybe it will."

So, will it be okay? Find out next time, in the next exciting installment of ... Superior City!